Conflictions

I seem to have a love-hate relationship with life. I love my classes, but they're hard, and I hate that. I hate the work and stress, and I really hate getting tests back, even when I do ok. I don't like playing B side because it's frustrating and embarrassing, and I'm actually getting worse since I'm not being challenged. I love rugby though, and I get a weird little kick out of being the best player on the B side. They go down like bricks when I tackle them- it's great for working out my frustration with having to play for the B side. Swahili stresses me out like crazy, but I love the way my instructor praises me. She's so nice, and she makes me feel really smart even when I know I'm terrible at Swahili. Really the only things that I know I like are my few but likeable friends. It's a nice change actually, since I hated my friends for a long time. Not all of my friends, but enough that it was weird. So it's nice to have some new friends who I like. It kind of makes things come out on the positive side