Friday, December 26, 2008

The World is Quiet Here

I feel full of potential tonight. The world is wide before me, and I want to head straight out and start doing things. Which is all well and good, but I never even left the house today, I just lumped around reading Margaret Atwood and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
I applied for another ten SCA internships, they have to take me somewhere. It all sounds pretty good, and I'm not picky. The biggest problem is that I don't have any real skills, I can't even drive a car. I keep applying for positions that require a valid driver's license though, I figure I have time before the summer to get one, provided I get on my horse about it. Boys are always insincerely offering to teach me how to drive, I wish one of them meant it. It's such a random line to use, and they all offer when I tell them I don't know how. It implies a commitment I guess, but they never mean it.
I want to adopt a baby from Uganda. I gave my mother a bracelet video for Christmas, and I just watched it. It's about a girl that was kidnapped when she was ten years old and made into a soldier for the LRA. She was also raped repeatedly, and when she escaped she found out she was pregnant. It was very very sad, and it made me want to go to Uganda and help. It also made me want to adopt a baby from Uganda, because babies like the one this girl had are called "bush babies" and are looked down upon because they are living reminders of the war. It's all very sad. I know there are a lot of babies and older children that need homes in the United States, and it seems frivolous to fly to Africa for a baby, but it is also important. And at least ten years in the future. Hopefully the war will be over before then, and all of the Ugandan babies will be set and won't need to be adopted.
I cannot wait to go to Smith. I'm very excited. Doors seem to be opening, or at least, I'm seeing doors that I would like to open. I'm becoming aware of the direction I want my life to take. It doesn't have that much to do with Smith really, it's a mindset thing, but it was easy to be gloomy at Geneseo when other people were being insufferably practical, or worse, fatalistic and anhedonic. There is a time and a place for practicality, but life is so big. I don't want to rush out of college so that I can start an office job. I respect people that have things figured out and have a Plan, but I don't feel ready for that. This is the time to explore and discover passions. I'm so glad I joined the Invisible Children club at Geneseo, I really feel like it might change my life.
Yoga tomorrow. I love long weekends.

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