Birthday

I feel older. It's weird, it usually takes a longer time for it to sink in, but I've been coming to terms with being 20 all year, so it feels pretty natural. It didn't feel like my birthday today though. Don't get me wrong, people were pretty good about bending to my will, but it feels like spring, and I was at the office all day.
I posted awhile ago about seeing the movie "Twilight", I read the book today. I bought it for myself as a birthday present, I even had the hipster at Talking Leaves wrap it for me (mostly because I wanted him to think I was buying it as a gift for someone else, and that I don't read trendy vampire romance novels myself.). It turned out to be just what I wanted, and I was very pleased to have something to open and know that it was something I would enjoy. It was sort of like eating a pint of ice cream all by myself though, I even have a headache now. I should've paced myself, but instead I charged through the whole thing in one day, and now I feel...not accomplished, but sort of drained. And kind of like I was pressing my nose to the window of someone luckier than me that has someone to love. The book made me feel lonely. And a little dumber. I'm glad I read it though, and I'm really glad I don't want to read the other books. It's like the show "Dexter"; I burned through the first season, but I don't want to watch anymore. That was enough.
I'm going to be exhausted in the morning. Birthdays are a trial. I feel sort of disappointed in myself for not even trying to celebrate, but I really think I'll start celebrating my half-birthday this year. Which is in...June. Damn. I'm never going to celebrate during the year, am I? Fortunately, 20-year old Caroline is able to rise above the birthday blues and treat it as just another day. Oh! Saint Caroline Day is May 9! Cool, this has potential.