Sunday, February 7, 2010
I watched the entire fifth season of Grey's Anatomy this weekend. I have a headache from it. At the same time though, I kept watching because I want to work in medicine, and this is my only opportunity to feel close to it. Real life isn't like tv obviously, but I want to work in medicine so much, and I can't. At least not right now, and not for a few years at least. The thing is, I wouldn't have figured out that I wanted to be a midwife if I hadn't gone to Smith. I wanted to be a therapist when I was at Geneseo, and I'm not sure I won't want to do that later, after I've midwifed around for a few years, but I don't want to do that right away. Everything I've experienced has brought me here, and I'm glad. I like it here. My life plan just got more complicated, and I'm a little worried that people will be mad at me, but I am where I am now, and I wouldn't have known how to get here three years ago, or even a year ago, and there's no point in changing horses second semester junior year. I had to come to Smith so I would know I wanted to be a midwife, and row crew, and just be this Caroline in 2010. I don't regret it, and I really think things are going to be ok, but I am sorry if people get mad.