Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Not Dead Yet

I've been waking up on the wrong side of the bed all week. My next door neighbor's alarm has been going off nonstop from 10 to 11pm, and as I try to go to bed at 9:30 it either wakes me up, or prevents me from falling asleep. Then I lose my sleep window, and the night is ruined, which means the morning is even worse than your standard waking-up-at-4:30 morning. Naps are great, but nothing beats a good night's sleep.
I was so tired this morning that I almost called in to let KK know I wouldn't be able to come into practice, but I didn't. If I don't show up my entire boat could be on land, and I didn't want to do that to my teammates. Luck was on my side however, and the fog this morning was so thick that we weren't able to go out. I was briefly worried that KK would send us to do a gym workout, but instead she let us loose with the expectation that we would do our split 2k, plus an hour of good cardio at some point during the day.
I was incredibly sick of the erg by the end of winter training, but now that we're on the water I sometimes miss it. I was nevertheless nervous about the erg test however, as the last time we tested I beat my goal split by almost three seconds. Improvement is wonderful, but then you are held to that standard, and I was worried that I would be slower. I was also worried because I was going to do it on my own, without any teammates to follow, or coxswains or coaches keeping me at my goal split. I walked into the erg room with a stomach full of butterflies, and prepped the room to my exact tastes for the first time ever. I opened the windows, and picked out a mix cd (Now That's What I Call Music: Volume 11), and actually sat in the front row for once. I did a quick warm-up, took a few deep breaths, and began. The test was split into a 1500 meter piece, with a one minute break, and then the final 500 meters, which made it even more tempting to fly and die, which is when you start out at an unsustainable pace and then fold. I didn't do that though. Somehow, I kept a steady stroke rate, and my splits stayed low. It was hard. My legs were burning after the first 500 meters, but at the end I had a new PR. I've been running on the victory all day. I'm tired, and my life is making me stressed and crazy, but I rowed really well today, without a coxswain, and without my teammates, and I was able to do my hour of cardio right after, which tells me I can do better next time. I'm going to get a sub-8 minute 2k before the end of the semester. I read in Cosmo that it's bad to announce your goals, as it gives you a false sense of accomplishment before you even do anything, but this is different. This is a personal promise, and when I reach my goal you'll all know how meaningful it is.
There were ice cream cones for dessert tonight, and I took mine to go. It's a beautiful evening, and I wandered around the nearby residential neighborhoods, looking at the houses. There were a lot of people out, walking dogs, playing with their kids, eating supper on their patios. I think the sound of cutlery on plates is one of my favorites. I know it's only April, but the weather has me ready for summer.


  1. I am so proud of you and your ability to set and fulfill your goals. I contrast the positive, affirming experience of crew to ...that other team...and am so delighted that you have found something that brings you this much joy and personal satisfaction.

  2. What you must love is feeling absolutely free to eat ice cream cones at will and still feel great about your body and your health and your ability to do your part with your team.
    Meanwhile, don't get too tired to study hard. You're going to need those good grades, too.