I Have A Job!

I'm really excited. Not only is it a source of income, it's also an opportunity to meet more people, and it will probably help me feel like I'm using my time better. Yay!

From Where I'm Standing

I went snowboarding tonight. I didn't really know what to expect. Lugging my gear across campus and almost boarding the track and field bus I flirted with the possibility that I had gotten the wrong end of it, and there wasn't any ski bus. There was (obviously, as I've already said I went snowboarding), but there were only four girls, and only one other snowboarder. The drive there was nice in that I fell asleep. I didn't mean to , but it was very toasty in the van, and car rides are soothing. When we got there we found out that lift tickets are actually $30 and not $25 as we had been led to believe. (I had a very expensive day, there were other expenses too, and I need to mail at least one package in the next week or so.) I geared up, but the other boarder announced that she wanted to go off on her own, and so I was left to my own devices. This was something of a blow, I was at an unfamiliar ski resort all by myself without a working cell phone, and I hadn't been out on the slopes in about a year and the place was jammed with high school ski clubs. It occurred to me once I was on the chair lift, that you don't need people around when you're snowboarding, it isn't a team sport. It's better even, because no one has to wait for anyone and you can just do your own thing. I found a run that I liked, so I did it like eight times and no one complained. The ski clubs didn't bother me either, I don't know the people, I don't care if they see me fall, or that I rode the chairlift by myself. I just did my own thing and had fun. It was cold but not too bad, I had forgotten to wear thick socks, but I was ok. It started snowing around seven, and it was very pretty. It was pretty the whole time actually, and the runs were an absolute joy. I kind of wished I had someone there with me, (specifically the Jewish Angel, as he apparently goes there all the time, and we txted last night, late into the night so he was on my mind.) but it was still fun. It made me think about last year when I went to holiday Valley with Clarence. I'm not a very talented snowboarder, but I get a big kick out of it.
Now I'm back in my room, slightly sore, and ready for a good night's sleep, but feeling good. The other snowboarder turned out to be nice, she just needed some space, which is totally understandable. She told me to friend her on Facebook and let her know if I go again, and she suggested I do a winter camping thing with the Outing Club. I heard somewhere that people are happier when they spend their money on doing fun things and not buying things. It's totally true, I'm much happier having spent my money on this than the pair of whisk earrings I had my eye on at Faces. (Which isn't to say I won't buy them. I made a deal with myself that I'll buy them if I get a job.) So. Contentment.

Ice

The whole campus is covered in ice. It's crazy slidey, but also kind of cool. It was starting to melt today, and I kind of wanted to shovel it. Shoveling giant sheets of ice is way more fun than boring old snow. A lot of little branches came down, but nothing major. What's kind of frightening though, is that giant avalanches periodically fall off of the houses. They aren't small comical avalanches, I bet they could kill someone. There isn't any warning either, so I'm being very very careful about where I stand.
I had a really good class today. It was tough, it was almost like being back in stats, I had to use my brain so much. I really like my classes this semester. They're interesting and I have lots of work, and I actually talk to my classmates. It's good stuff.
I just got back from dinner (Turkish night in my house) and my friend pointed out that we've been here for a week. It feels like so much longer, but a week is nothing. What had I accomplished after my first week at Geneseo? (I actually went back and checked on Jonesing) After my first week of Geneseo I wanted to transfer. I'm coming out ahead of the game! Smith is good. I'm making friends, I joined the rugby mailing list, I have a job interview. I was freaking out at dinner because I'm not volunteering and as involved as I was at my old school, but I just got here. I'll find my niche eventually, it's just a matter of time.
Meeting the rugby coach last night made me miss Colin. Ben seems like a great guy, but he looks like a Northampton soccer dad. Hiking boots, cargo pants, thermal shirt. He doesn't seem like the kind of coach that would come to the drink up or work as a DJ. I like him already, but it's an adjustment.

Ah, Women's College

It has been pointed out that since I've been at Smith I've only eaten a couple of meals by myself, and these have been bagels snarfed as I dashed to class, but I used to eat by myself all the time at Geneseo. I don't think it's a comparable situation, you can just join a table here, but that would have been very weird and awkward at Geneseo. They are very different environments, it's apples and oranges. Anyway. Eating with people is great, but eating with a bunch of women makes me sort of lonely for men for several reasons. For one thing, no one eats very much. The food here isn't great, it is school food, afterall, but it isn't poison, and yet all the girls eat like birds. They also keep track of what other people are eating and comment on it. We actually went around the table the other night and all said how much we weigh. I don't feel judged, but everyone was all disbelieving when I told them my weight ("You can't possibly weigh that much!"), and I don't like obsessing over calories and exercise. I've been going to the gym to get in condition for rugby, but it also is helping me feel ok about how much I eat, which is a big pain. I'm at Smith! We're supposed to be all empowered! And people actually eat more when they eat with other people, so it's very weird that I suddenly have to be more aware of what I eat now that I'm psychologically more likely to be eating more. And on that note, I'm off to lunch.

Smith Girls

My transfer group is really nice, I feel really lucky. I've only hung out with the handful of them that live in the Quad, but everyone is very friendly. There's one girl though, that I'm totally fascinated by. She isn't actually nice, but she looks just like a china doll. People do not look the way she looks. She has perfect strawberry blond hair, and her skin is so white except for the tiny bit of color on her cheeks, and she wears lots of white, down to white stockings. I don't like her very much, but I've never seen anyone like her, so I thought it was noteworthy. She also seems to live off of coffee and cigarettes, and she doesn't want a career, she just wants to be beautiful and educated and have a nice house. So it's a good thing she looks the way she does, she can go from looking like a doll to living like one too. I don't mean that in as mean a way as it sounds, but she's so strange. I expect if I were to touch her she would be made out of porcelain.
I went rock climbing today. It was really really fun. I'm going to get my belay certificate on Tuesday and then I'll be able to go all the time. It's a great wall for bouldering, but now my shoulders are sore.
I keep saying I'm nervous but I'm not really. Everyone is so nice here, I'm excited for classes. I need to talk to some professors, but I think I have a good schedule planned.
I missed Geneseo last night. We were trying to find something to do, but there weren't any parties or over/under bars and there was nothing to do. We wandered around in the freezing cold for about an hour, then went home to our separate houses. I watched Dragonheart online, which was all well and good, but I was a little homesick for the IB and my ruggers. I'm sure things will pick up when the semester starts though.

Mmmm...banana

So this is my official First Smith Post. My room is wonderful, and the girls in my hall are really friendly. I met a few rugby girls even, and because I am stupid I accidentally told them that I've been playing for eight years. I don't know what I was thinking, because that isn't true, but I sort of thought it was at the time...I wasn't lying on purpose. And they were super impressed and so even though I only told one girl she told all the others. So I'm screwed and now I have to live a lie for the next two and a half years. So darn. I've been here three days and I'm already caught in a web of lies.
I was going to go to the gym, but I don't think I will. It's a really long cold walk, and I don't know if it'll even be open, cuz the hours are all wonky. Better to sit in my room and watch tv online. I've been pretty busy since I got here, there are orientation events, and some other transfer girls turned out to be really cool, so we've been hanging out. I need some down time though, time to reflect, and absorb and catch up on How I Met Your Mother. I can't complain that all my socializing has been getting in the way of tv, I'm glad things are going well, but this is nice. It's warm in my room, and I don't have to justify myself. Tomorrow begins the crazy rugby training, but today is mine.
I sort of registered for classes, but I didn't get all of the ones that I wanted. I'm right now taking Research Methods, Child Clinical Psych, and a Geology class about how people impact the environment (my advisor thought it would be good because I'm into conservation). I want to get into an Intro to Signing class and an Emergency Care class, but those are a little more complicated and I'll have to talk to the professors. But I will prevail. I really want those classes.
I applied for two work study jobs today. One is working as a lunch aide at the campus school, which would be great, but it slightly conflicts with the Emergency Care class. The other job is putting a DVD in a player once a week and sitting through a movie until it's done and then returning it. For money. I want that job. I feel qualified, because my parents don't know how to use their DVD player, so I always load up the movies. Either would be good, but I'm a big fan of having my cake and eating it too, so I want the movie job.
Anyway. Smith is good. I'm good here. I bought a planner, I'm making friends, even if they are sort of starter friends (we might keep hanging out though, you never know), I'm excited for classes. I'm settling in. It isn't like Geneseo, it's very new. My friends from rugby txted me last night, but I'm not homesick, even if I miss them. I'm kind of building something here.

Weird

So for the first time in a long time I have faith in a college-aged boy that isn't Clarence. Faith not being hope, I keep joking about the "we-hung-out-twice,-lets-get-into-a-long-distance-relationship improbability because the idea is so ridiculous, but I'm really surprised and pleased to see a Nice Boy exists in the wild and not just on tv. And he seems to sort of like me.

Getting Ready

So now I have a single in Wilson. I was coming around to Cutter, but I'm really glad to be living in Wilson. It's a sort of remote location, but it's right by the pond, and I'm thrilled to have a single. Wilson is really beautiful too, it looks like Hogwarts. I have a good feeling about this. It might have been nice to have a roommate, I'm a little worried about making friends, but I think this is for the best. I won't have to worry about Flora annoying her, and I'll be able to have people visit *hint hint*. I'll make friends with the rugby team, it'll be fine.
I had my last day of work today. It was a long break, but I'm glad I worked as much as I did. I'll appreciate that money this semester. Northampton is a great town, there is a lot to do.
Canadian tv is great. Our cable is out, but I highly recommend the show "Being Erica" if anyone is looking for a Monday night show. And "Little Mosque on the Prairie" is always good. Canadian tv is so much more diverse than American shows, although I suspect that might change with Obama in the White House.
I'm really excited to go to school on Wednesday. It's been such a long break, I'm ready. It doesn't feel real, but I'm excited in a disbelieving way. I'll be at Smith soon. Wow.

Excellent Day

I think I need more direction in my life, I'm always happiest when I'm working at something. I woke up early for me (on a weekend) and went to brunch with Dana, Elizabeth and Nicole and their charming friends. I hadn't been to Panos since it was renovated, and while it isn't as homey as it used to be, I like the new layout. And the food is as good as ever, which is important. It was a nice brunch, I was almost bouncing I was so excited to be with my friends. People are really great, Dana and Elizabeth were telling stories about high school and I was laughing really hard, even though I wasn't there and I don't know the people they were talking about because it was still funny, and I was happy.

After brunch we went to Half and Half and browsed for a bit. I didn't buy anything, but I might go back for some peace sign earrings that I saw. I need more stud earrings, all of mine are huge. They made me think of Justine, from Geneseo Invisible Children, she wears a lot of peace-themed jewelery. Her dorm room is like a monument to peace, it's very cool. I didn't buy them before because I thought they might be a little silly, but I like them, and I think I'll go back for them.

I spent most of the day cleaning and doing jobs, but under my own steam, so it didn't bother me. I finally tidied my room and discovered that I have a floor! Who knew? I should've straightened ages ago, having a clean room is very soothing. I also started sorting through my stuff for Smith. I accidentally took all of my freshman year notebooks back to Geneseo this past fall because I didn't unpack my boxes, and I don't want to do that again.

I made eggplant parmesan, but my parents had already bought trout for dinner, so we're going to have it tomorrow. It looks edible enough though, and I had to do something with the eggplant, it was on its last legs. I sometimes worry that I won't actually ever cook for myself when I live on my own, I'll just live off of mac and cheese and popcorn. I like to cook, but it's such a hassle sometimes. Cooking today was pretty fun though, I put on a bluegrass cd my dad gave me for Christmas and had a nice time of it. I cheated and let my mom make the sauce, but I seasoned it, and I could've made it, I know how.

I'm listening to the Billy Joel song "Lullabye" and feeling sappy. I love this song in a totally un-ironic way, too. It's the sort of song that you could play in the car, driving home late at night, when you've been out having a nice time, and now you're tired, but still happy. Except I feel sort of self-conscious about liking Billy Joel, so I never play this song when anyone else is around. I would though, in that situation. I feel sort of skinless right now, like I'm completely vulnerable because I'm totally safe. It's a good feeling. I'd be totally fine with playing Billy Joel in front of people if I could hold onto this state of mind, I'll work on that.

Second-Guessing Myself

I was on Facebook the other night and I saw a series of videos of people acting like morons at the Rugby House. It was kind of awful actually, these people were running on pure id. I'm not judging, really, I'm not, I know it's a fun way to be, but it's...icky. And yet it made me wonder whether I made the right choice in transferring. I don't even really like those people, and I'm sure I could have monkey shenanigans at Smith if I really wanted to, (I don't) but it made me sort of sad. Like I'll be missing something. CL pointed out that there aren't any right or wrong decisions, only choices that you have to make, which I think is very wise. I also feel like there's something pretty compelling in the idea that my biggest doubt about this transfer is the loss of moron rugby boys. I think that's indicative of me making a good choice. (Just to clarify, I'm going to miss my actual friends much more than the moron boys, but I don't think I'm losing them. They'll still be a part of my life, whereas the ruggers will be so many awkward memories.)

In other news, I'm going to go see RENT next weekend. It'll be my third time, and I wasn't going to go, but Anthony Rapp is playing Mark. I don't care if he is 38 and playing a guy in his early 20's, he's Anthony Rapp! So that should be fun. Three times is a lot to see a show, but I like repetition. I would've seen Forever Plaid twice in the same day if anyone had wanted to see it with me. Granted, that was a special case, but still. I think it was free too, but I love RENT. And that'll be it for me, then I'll be done.

Romance Novels

There's a box full of bodice-rippers in the kitchen at work, and I've been enjoying them greatly. I know they're silly, and kind of soft-core pornographic, but they're fun, sort of like reading tv. I should be expanding my mind to prepare for all the smart pants Smithies I'm going to meet soon, but it's hard to read good things in tiny bites. These books are sufficiently embarrassing so that I don't want to devote too much time to them and they last for lots of lunch breaks. They're enjoyable too, I like the clunky plot twists and the predictable storyline. They remind me of the Margaret Atwood novel Lady Oracle. They're all sort of the same, it would be pretty easy to write a lot of them if you had written one. I wish they made subtler covers though, like the adult covers for Harry Potter, it's embarrassing to be seen reading a bright pink paperback with a heaving bosom-ed woman and a hunky, long-haired Fabio.

Everyone in the office was called into a meeting earlier today. It took me a pretty long time to realize that I was the only person around (working hard, you know), but it was very startling once I did notice. I was sort of worried that there had been a gas leak, or a cholera outbreak like in The Secret Garden. Then, I was worried that the Rapture had come and I was left behind. It was very dramatic.

I wish I had paced myself more with the Buffys, I watched them all already, and now I want season five. It's very tempting to buy it, especially since I got paid yesterday. I shouldn't though, and I won't. I might buy some Invisible Children stuff though, I should start learning all about everything Ugandan if I'm starting a club at Smith. I liked slowly learning about things, in a non-founder capacity, but this is good too. I'm not even remotely in the mood to watch a depressing movie about child soldiers anytime soon, but it's important. You can't get to the fun bead-making until you know why you're making the beads.

Pretty Things

Puppies, babies, bunnies, sunshine. I just want to stop thinking about the creepy dismembered body of Ida Amine's wife from "The Last King of Scotland." Fireworks. Cookies. New backpacks. Any minute now.

Winter Adventures

I had a perfect winter day today. A bunch of family members got together and we all went to Chestnut Ridge for a winter picnic and bonfire. I bundled up in my ski coat and snowpants, and thus protected, I felt perfectly ok about rolling around in the snow. LCA and I made a bitchin snowman with leaf mould hair and a creepy water bottle top popping out-eye. My cousin Andrew provided me with a sort of canine-shaped lump of snow, so I made our snowman a dog, and everyone thought they made a charming couple. I hadn't ,ade a snowman in years, I had forgotten how hard it is. Rolling giant snowballs takes a really long time, and required me to walk around in a full squat until I gave up and crawled around on my knees. I kept shedding layers as I went, first my hat, then my coat, etc. It was so worth it though, snowmen are very satisfying final products.
My mom had brought turkey soup, and we had a nice picnic lunch. Soup is hard to eat in the snowy wind, and I made a soupy mess, but it was very tasty and warming. We also toasted marshmallows, and eventually there were hot dogs, because everyone was so hungry from playing in the cold.
A small party decided to try to hike to the Eternal Flame, and so we walked down some very icy, snowy stone steps, only to find that the path was impassible. The creek had party frozen, and so we played around it, tempting frostbite and broken ankles. I love ice. Not skating or walking on it, but the way it feels, and the sound it makes when you break it. I risked my neck trying to reach an icy fragment, but it was totally worth it because it was filled with little air bubble polka dots. Even the feeling of ice breaking under you is thrilling. It's scary, but once you realize you're safe, it's awesome, exhilarating and funny at the same time. I had a hard time deciding where I wanted to be, and sort of drifted between the chatting adults and exploring children. I'm at that age I guess. It was a ton of fun though, and people kept commenting on how it was the happiest they had seen me all break. I love being outside, it shouldn't have come as a surprise. I was very happy though.
Back at the ranch, my grandparents were building competing bonfires, and I singed my gloves when I tried to dry them over the fire. The fires were nice, but everyone smelled smoky. Some people went sledding, but I was winding down, so I just sat by the fire. We left when the sledders came back, and I got to sit shotgun, even though I had ridden in the front on the way out. I tried to play nice music to make up for it, everyone was tired and cold, but in a good way.
Mum and I went to yoga when we got back. I was very tired, but it was a good class. It was very crowded, and I was right against the wall, so I didn't have quite enough room, and I was next to the Yoga Queen, but I thought I did well. Better than last time at least. I was certainly glad I went, but by the end I was yawning during the poses. I love getting all sweaty though, and I always feel good after a class. I feel great right now, stretched and showered and full of raspberries and vanilla ice cream. I had such a nice time today.

Happy New Year

I had the best New Years Eve probably ever last night. And I don't wan anyone that was there to feel awkward about that, or sorry that I had my best New Years surrounded by semi-strangers, because it's a good thing. New Years Eve is a very high pressure night normally, but I had pretty low expectations, and I ended up having a great night. I really like my friends' friends. I like it when people act normal and are ok being silly and playful and just enjoying each others company without any hints of drama. I loved playing games, Saranac Smack is so tremendously fun, I'm going to play it all the time at Smith. And as soon as someone reminds me of what the card game we played was called, I'll introduce that to people at Smith too, and play it all the time.
I was really nervous about going to this party last night, but it was great. I was a little shy, but I didn't feel awkward or fifth wheel-y, and everyone seemed ok with me being a big interloper and coming to their party. Even my getting home adventure was fun, I had never taken a cab by myself before. It was ruinously expensive, (just another reason to learn to drive I guess) but sort of exciting.
I've never had a New Years kiss, even when I spent New Years Eve with a boyfriend, we weren't at the kissing stage yet. I don't mind though, because I would rather spend an evening with a bunch of fun, sort of wacky people, throwing billiard balls and drinking sparkling grape juice at midnight.
So. Resolutions. I am going to learn to drive this year, come hell or high water. And I'm going to study harder. I liked studying like a freak during finals, it made me feel productive. And I'm going to value myself more. I had a solid resolution that I've already forgotten, but for now I think that's enough. So happy new year all.