Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Following My Own Advice
I have decided to see a counselor. I know deciding to see someone can be a private thing, but I'm always saying I think everyone would benefit from talking to a counselor every now and then, and so I feel like it's ok for me to announce it. I'm ok, I just think I should talk to someone about my inability to make and keep friends. I'll admit it, I've been ruminating about the whole Nicole thing. It's so tempting to say I make bad friend choices, but other people get along with them, and so I think it's probably me. It's a shame that I didn't address this in time for things to work out with some of my former friends, but at least I'll have a better chance in the future. I sometimes worry that I'm a sociopath, but I think I'm probably in the clear because of that worry, a real sociopath wouldn't care that they're a sociopath. I don't want to have unreasonable expectations, but I hope it helps. It isn't hugely pressing, I was talking to EGA about my problem of alienating friends, and she while she was able to relate, she was not concerned about what it said about our characters. "So it says something about our characters", she said with a vocal shrug, which I think summed it up nicely. Still, it would be nice to have some friends. In-state friends if at all possible, I have at least three in the world. And they are delights.
I'm trying to make my schedule for next semester, but it's hard to do. There are so many cool-sounding classes, and a lot of them conflict, and I don't know which ones are going to fill up. What sounds more fun, Learning and Behavior Change (I'd get to experiment on a pidgeon!), or Psychology of Behavior? Buddhist Thought, or Buddhist Meditation? Africa: Popular Health and Environmental Issues, or American Popular Culture? Plus I need to leave room in my schedule for Swahili, and I want to get into Emergency Care. And possibly West African Dance (my HP is taking it and I see her practicing all the time. It looks like a ton of fun. I frequently wish I could dance).