Friday, March 6, 2009

Meeting of the Minds

I cannot make my unconscious mind bend to my will, and it's very frustrating. (This is a dream post, feel free to skim or skip it.) So in my dream I went to Geneseo on the PVTA bus for dinner. I was wandering around, and I heard someone shout my name. I couldn't see who it was, they were too far away, but you would think it would be one of my pals right? The person that ran up to me and gave me a big hug like a lost family member, they should be someone I at least like, right? Apparently not, because it was CWB. She ran up to me, and gave me a big hug, and I did one of those jumping up legs around their waist hugs, cuz in my dream I was straight thrilled to see her. (She collapsed under my weight though and we fell. OOOH! Symbolism!) But then Nicole showed up with this really cute guy that looked kind of like Elliot, but that she introduced as their friend from camp. He had gone to Harvard, but he said he liked to hang out at Geneseo and camp nowadays because it makes him happy. We all went back to Nicole's room, and we were watching tv, and I asked where Dana was. They told me she was at a wake for a counselor and two campers that had been killed in a rock slide at Weona, and then complained that their deaths had caused camp to be closed for the weekend. Either Nicole or the new boy pointed out that the staff person that had died was just the arts and crafts director, and that they could replace them without any problem (it wasn't Mari, it was the arts director from a few years ago). Dana showed up after a while, and I couldn't see her face, but I hugged her around the legs (I was sitting on the floor and she was standing.)
The rest of the dream is sort of unnecessary, but the annoying thing was the CWB part. I woke up wishing things were different between us, and I know that if I saw her I would probably react pretty positively because it would be instinct. That isn't what I want though, everyone has a line, and we are so far past the line, there really isn't any going back. When I talked to Paul about it (not at length because that would be inappropriate, but just so he'd quit asking) he was shocked we weren't friends anymore, he said we had been like sisters. He always was a diplomat. Dreams always make me miss people, but that's because they don't accurately portray people. I wish people were still in my life, but if things had stayed good they still would be. That's cold comfort though, and I know I'm going to spend the rest of the day missing my friend.

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