Saturday, February 7, 2009


I was having a kind of cranky day, so I decided to go for a walk. It was pretty warm today, and I've been exploring the campus a little this weekend, so it was nice. I ended up going to the rugby field. Rugby pitches are very special, the one at Geneseo was awful, but it has a place in my heart, and ruggers like to commune with the pitch. Girls go there to tan when it's warm, and going by the number of condoms that we've found on the field, it's a hot spot for other activities too. The Smith pitch is nice, it's flat and surrounded by a track, and I figured it was just the destination to pull me out of my funk. It was getting colder by the time I made it across campus, but I was determined, and kept at it, despite my lack of scarf or gloves. The pitch is set back in a field and up on a hill, but it looked like the snow was pretty shallow. I thought I could see the ground underneath, but I guess that was just an illusion. The snow was actually about calf-deep, and covered in just enough ice that I could fool myself into thinking it could support my weight. I recently saw a documentary about native Alaskans, and how they always let their dogs go out first to test the thickness of the ice. It's a good idea, and I thought about that as I broke through the crust. I was really set on getting to the rugby field though, so I pushed on, crashing through the ice at almost every step. It was kind of fun, it's exciting in a way, breaking through gives you a teeny rush. Of course, it also hurt a lot. I didn't give it a lot of thought, but the ice was very sharp, and my socks were getting all wet with what I assumed was snow that was melting in my shoes. I made it to the base of the hill, and since I had come that far, I refused to quit, even though the ice on the hillside was much slipperier and thicker. I tried to break through with every step so that I wouldn't fall, and I did make it to the top. It was sort of a hollow victory, I got to the top and it was an icy field. Yay. I carefully climbed down and made my way back to the path, and I thought that was it. I didn't think about it until I was undressing for the evening and noticed that my ankles up to my lower calf were covered in blood. Really caked in dried blood. It was pretty surprising actually, though I should've realized at the time that I was shredding my legs. I was worried about twisting my ankle, but it didn't occur to me that repeatedly falling through half-inch thick ice might result in some sort of scraping. It's pretty gory looking, though it's much better without all the dried blood. So as far as mood-lifting, that walk wasn't so great. It was kind of fun at the time, but it loses points for blood loss. Jewish Angel has been texting me though, so I'm bouncing back.
Looking at JA's Facebook pictures like a big creeper, I've reconsidered, and decided that he doesn't look that much like Goose. If I'm going to be totally honest, he isn't as attractive, but he's very nice. I keep being suspicious of his motives, but he just responds by being normal and treating me like a person and not a piece of meat. He said he's coming home (to Amherst MA) soon (in the next couple of weeks), and he'd really like to see me. Even if this never turns into a real thing I'm enjoying him. He makes me smile. I wouldn't call it a crush, but it's a warmpth. It's nice, because we have to move slowly, there's no alternative when he lives in Geneseo and I'm in Northampton. I'm not sure what he wants, but I kind of trust him.

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